


In Time You'll Grow

by bravelove



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Anxiety, Area 11 - Freeform, M/M, Missing Your Boyfriend, Pining, Prescription medication mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 12:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19927819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravelove/pseuds/bravelove
Summary: Parvis is out touring with Area 11, Strife can’t join him and is starting to feel a bit worried over his boyfriend...





	In Time You'll Grow

Staring at the clock Strife sighed, only three pm, his lips pursed ever so slightly, he was out of work to do, out of distractions. He pulled out his phone and checked his messages, no, nothing from Parvis. Rubbing his face he leaned back in his chair, he wasn’t used to Parvis being gone for so long at all, and while he was unbelievably proud of Parvis and his band for managing to score a tour, without Strife's help like Parvis insisted, it meant he was going to be gone and busy, and Strife had gotten used to his constant hovering. He couldn’t even go to any concerts because he had important meetings this week he really couldn’t put off longer.

Standing up to get some water, Strife did his best to not think about the curling in his stomach, he was alone, and his anxiety didn’t like it. He rubbed his face, trying to not think about it. He told himself Parvis would be fine, it’s fine he wasn’t constantly bombarding Strife with random comments or hovering around. They were both adults Parvis was allowed a life outside him, he could handle only getting a few rushed texts a day, he could handle how big his tower felt these days without Parvis.

He took a sip of his drink before groaning, but what if he got hurt he can be so clumsy and he needed help, what if he got lost, what if he broke his phone, what if he forgot about him and was never coming back?

Before that train could continue Strife threw his water into his face, letting the chill snap him out of it and distract him. Stupid anti-anxiety medication why was he even paying for it when it didn’t work?! Dumb doctors prescribing sugar pills that did nothing for the clawing in his gut.

Taking a deep breath, and finding a towel, Strife wiped away the water, forcing himself to think opposite thoughts. Parvis was not hurt because he was surrounded by people who could help even if Area 11 doesn’t have a single functional adult in it, he wouldn’t get lost because he had maps and gps, he would break his phone but he’d text him from someone else’s to get him to buy him a new one, and he wouldn’t forget him, Parvis, Parvis loved him, he’d never ever, he trusted Parvis! 

He shivered at that, but what if this was all a fluke, it’s not like they were married yet, what if he only fell in love with him because there were only the two of them in that jungle? What if he found someone even more charming, even more in common, what if them falling in love was just an accident based on circumstances.

Strife did not like this train of thought at all, he sent Parvis a quick I love you, and took a shuddering breath when Parvis sent a quick heart back. He was fine he was there and he trusted Parvis! Parvis would never hurt him like that, they loved each other, held each other at night, cuddled on there one bed, too touch starved to make a second. They had fought bosses and beat the odds in blood magic, Parvis was utterly loyal to him. He shouldn’t be doubting him. Guilt started to curl in his gut, gods, he sucked.

Putting down his phone he got back to his computer and checked everything, hoping he missed some scrap of paperwork to pass time, but no he had been perfectly meticulous as always. Curses. He groaned again as he googled random time waster sites Parvis had showed him, but none interested him, and he could feel his anxiety crawling in the back of his mind. What if Parvis realized that he needed a lot more space after this, what if he moved out? Could he really handle it? Was he so selfish as to need Parvis as close as possible always to function? He held his face in his hand, gods he was suddenly very tired, maybe he should just, nap.

Pulling himself from his computer Strife plodded towards the bedroom, at the very least resting never hurt. He chuckled, look at him choosing a healthy option over redstone! Parvis would be proud of him, even if it’s only because he knew the hard way anxiety and redstone do not mix at all. 

Crawling into bed Strife laid his head on his pillow, frowning at how big it felt without a squirming Parvis to spoon. Though maybe when he gets back, he could let down his guard a little and let Parvis hold him. He shivered, god he was so bad at showing weakness, scared him, if he was softer people thought he was cute and cute things get treated as lesser things to protect. He knew that wasn’t right, but that lie he’d embedded deep into his skin by now, it had been a long process to even let Parvis rarely top, it was even one reason he went to a therapist, he didn’t trust the therapist at all but they had good breathing exercises at least, but he craved Parvis’ touch, maybe enough to risk the terrifying act of intimate trust. Though a part of him doubted that.

He maneuvered his giant pillow to lay next to him, and wrapped himself around it. It’s not like anyone could see his weakness up here, and he really wanted to hold something lanky like Parvis. He nuzzled into it, closing his eyes, letting his memories of holding Parvis like that soothe him. He felt better when he finally opened them again, it was only a few more days until he’d be home and probably tackle him into the bedroom, he could do it, how long was he even out for? 

He checked his phone, 3:20 PM

Fuck

...Well Parvis still had one concert left, and he’d been so good at not getting too worked up, he could totally move some things around, see what kind of tickets were still available, and if none, who he could bribe into giving him one, he deserved it.

But first, he thinks he’s going to stay in bed a few more minutes, he deserved that too.


End file.
